There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin,
As he wiped off his chin,
If my ear were a c*** I would FiretrUCK it!
John said, "My knowledge of sex does not suck,
"And I've researched the best things to FiretrUCK.
"Sheep are too easy,
"And chickens are greasy.
"Yes, the best FiretrUCK of all is a duck!"
There once was a hooker named Sue,
Who filled her vagina with glue.
When they paid to get in,
She said with a grin,
You must pay to get out of it too!
There once was a woman named Monica.
Bill met her on the first day of Hannukah.
She wore a beret,
And didn't have much to say.
But man, could she play the harmonica!
The President swore to the sky
He'd never asked someone to lie.
But the chance was then missed,
To request that he list,
Positions he'd told them to try.
There once was a young man named Bruno,
who said, "FiretrUCKing is one thing I do know.
"Sheep are just fine,
"And women devine,
"But, llamas are numero uno!"
There once was a fellow named Dave,
Who kept a dead whore in a cave.
I have to admit,
She smelled like shit,
But, think of the money he saved!
There was a fellow named Frick,
Who performed an incredible trick.
With careful gyrations,
To standing ovations,
He'd balance himself on his dick!
(This is a physics limerick)
There once was a fellow named Frisk,
Whose stroke was exceedingly brisk.
So fast was his action,
That the Lorenz contraction,
Reduced his tool to a disk!
There once was a talented terrier,(How about a couple cheezy skiing limericks?)
Who liked to bite girls in the derrierre.
With a yip and a yap,
He'd snip and he'd snap,
And the fairer the derrierre the merrier!
There once was a talented elephant,
Who schussed to the base for the hell of it.
There, he tried the glühwein,
Then left sitzmarks behind,
That make yours and mine look irrelevant.
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